So I am doing my weekly run to the bank. Minding my own business, standing in line – I look up to see a vase of blooming forsythia. (Insert blood-curdling scream.) Now I'm unable to focus on my banking chores, thanks to the voice shrieking in my head:IF THE FORSYTHIA ARE BLOOMING, THE CRABGRASS IS GERMINATING!
OMG! I missed the corn gluten deadline. I'm doomed. Another summer of crabgrass armies, marching across my lawn. Another autumn of crabgrass nightmares. I SUCK!
All this paranoia because you're supposed to spread the corn gluten when the forsythia are blooming. Now I am in full panic. The crabgrass is already flashing before my eyes, persistence of memory from last fall.
A bit of schedule-shuffling and phone calling later, I speed down to the feed store to grab my corn gluten, relieved they had it in stock. A few million dollars later – damn, that stuff's expensive – the corn gluten is in on its way to my garage along with several metric tons of lime.
Ready for battle.
For kicks, I stopped to check the status of the flowers on my neighbor's massive forsythia.
Not a single bloom! What the ... ? A mad dash around town later, checking as many forsythias I could find revealed the same condition. No blooms, anywhere.
False alarm. I don't know where the bank's forsythia came from. It was a Monday so I am guessing an employee spent the weekend down south and brought them home? Who knows?
No harm, no foul. The garage is stocked. Now I am _really_ ready for them.
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